Meterology or Alchemy?

All right all right all right

Fred Rock author

I know what you’re thinking.

Meter reading is a dead art. A lost occupation from a bygone era. A noble profession long relegated to the scrap heap of history like the butter and egg man or those guys in factories who affixed Boston stickers to 8-track tapes.

Let me tell you what’s really going down.

In neighborhoods all around a couple of counties in Wisconsin, there are men like me. There are also women but they’re less like me than the men. We’re out there patrolling your neighborhoods and skulking around in your yards to keep you safer from high bills or whatever. But not really because we just record the readings so…

This is a call.

Meter reading brothers and sisters, unite!

Also, the term “meter readers” doesn’t include those tryhards who drive around the block pointing a meter gun at houses. Real meter readers get off their cracks and walk. We read a meter with our naked eyes. That’s old school. That’s keeping it legit.

And here it is, the first blog! Hopefully, I have another five or six in me before I lose interest and move on but, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life it’s that only fools make unnecessary promises.

I’ve also learned how to read meters.

Until I start working somewhere else, and provided I don’t abandon this blogging business entirely, I’ll probably post some thrills from the route. Maybe some killer videos or pics or whatever. I was thinking about firing up a “Humans of Polk County” page like the “Humans of New York” Facebook page that was so popular a few months ago but my plans hit a snag.

You see, the problem is I’d have to talk to lots of people on the route and, frankly, I don’t feel like it. Not because they’re not nice or interesting, you understand, but because I’m on a time schedule. Meter routes wait for no one and meter readers don’t play. We get the readings.

Anyway, now you know more shit than you did before you started reading this.

Don’t get a swelled head about it.



Author: Fred Rock

Writer of fiction and fiction-based accessories.

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